Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
