Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you had me at cake vodka
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
