3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
