the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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