I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
