How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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