oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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