i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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