it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Alive.
So much puke
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize