Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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