That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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