I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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