Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
