I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
