haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
barbara walters just said penis...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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