I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
