Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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