Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
