Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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