after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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