Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I die, sorry about rent.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
