So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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