I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize