3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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