no, he came in my armpit
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
