I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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