angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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