i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
