But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
