i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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