You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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