im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
