he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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