I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
