you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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