You made me cry and you don't even care
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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