i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize