Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
