are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
