Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
