I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
