i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
