Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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