i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
