I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
