And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize