You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
