Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
