I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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