rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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