god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
