If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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