ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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