I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
