new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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