is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
