YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
