sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
