Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
