Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
